Welcome to my blog, redneckhiro, the life and times of a Japanese redneck. This blog is a collection of FREE funny short stories written both in Japanese and English. Once or twice a week, I will post a new short story so I hope that you will come back to visit me regularly and check "funny" or 'interesting" or "cool" or leave comments. Coming soon are links to some more blogs I am starting like cooking and interesting stories growing up in post WWII Japan. Thank you for visiting and come back soon!

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A Japanese Redneck House

A Japanese Redneck House
Illustrated by Redneck Hiro

Monday, April 5, 2010

Redneck Hiro Shares His Recipe For Wild Green Onions

Wild onion is growing everywhere. I dig them. Eat roots. First, wash with water, cut off roots and four inches above the bulb. Then cook in boiling water about ten minutes. Get tender. Cool off with cold water. Eat them with mayonnaise or vinegar. I made miso dressing with miso paste, white vinegar, soy sauce and sugar. Mix ingredients and coat onions. Eat cold. (See below)

Redneck Hiro's Pigs

I had four growing kids. Some of my friends had pigs. I thought that one way to go to save money. I bought two pigs. About one week old. First they in little wood box. When they were too big for the box, I put in to fence. But not built good. They come out and wreck my yard. So, I dug a hole with my backhoe. Stick them in that. Good. They stay in. No way they can break. I bought small feeder but they eat 100 lbs. bag feed in three days. They get big and fat. One day we had heavy rain. Pig pen was full of water. I come home from work at midnight. They standing back feet. Stick nose out of the water. I start back hoe. Dig deeper hole and took water out. By the way, feed cost me $400. Meat was too fat. When eat, blood pressure sky high. Kids get mad. Not eat. We feed all of them to greyhound dogs I was raising. Pig cost more money than buy at Sam's.

Redneck Hiro Goes Fishing For Octopus

I was sixteen years old. I own a wood boat. Heavy built boat. Maybe ten people get on it. Usually three or four of us go to fishing. End of summer, little octopus come in. We fish all day octopus. About three or four hundred of little octopus. Boat has leak water. Some of them swimming in the boat. Some of them cooked by the sun then dried octopus. We eat them while fishing. I take them home. Dry them. Next morning, roasted, to take to school. Sell them 3 for 10 cents. Three octopus is like a bunch of beef jerky. You can chew one octopus for fifteen minutes. Octopus has ink. Most classmates has black teeth. One day English teacher told us, "Don't chew gum in the class." But one boy told him, "But we need to show good manners." The teacher asked "Why?"  The boy said, "It kill mouth odor." "Ok, if so, chew at break time. Not in class." "Yes sir." Everybody in the class was laughing. The teacher said, "Before you talk about manners, do you know what you look like your lips need to be cleaned." Whole class die laughing. We all had octopus ink dirty lips!