Welcome to my blog, redneckhiro, the life and times of a Japanese redneck. This blog is a collection of FREE funny short stories written both in Japanese and English. Once or twice a week, I will post a new short story so I hope that you will come back to visit me regularly and check "funny" or 'interesting" or "cool" or leave comments. Coming soon are links to some more blogs I am starting like cooking and interesting stories growing up in post WWII Japan. Thank you for visiting and come back soon!

Click below to download adobe reader (for Japanese or English) for free.
http://get.adobe.com/reader/otherversions/

A Japanese Redneck House

A Japanese Redneck House
Illustrated by Redneck Hiro

Saturday, February 13, 2010

A Japanese Redneck's Notion of "Child Care" Part 2 - Feeding Yuri To The Sharks

Yuri must be thrown to the sharks. Sayoko begs dad to spare Yuri's life.
Sayoko and Yuri only sixteen months apart. My wife make dress same pattern. Same color. People think they were twins. Sayoko don't like that. Always pick on Yuri. Make her cry. One day when they were three and four years old, I ask Sayoko, "Why can't you two get along?" She don't say nothing. "I know you don't like Yuri. Ok. We give Yuri for adoption. What you think?" She still don't answer. We lived on beach that time. I told her, "Quickest way get rid of Yuri is dump her in ocean. Feed for shark." She don't answer. I put Yuri in sheet. Carry on my back. Start walk on the pier. Then, Sayoko scream, say, "NO, NO! DADDY! DON'T! DON'T DADDY!!!" I told her, "You don't need her." She cry, scream. Hang onto the sheet. I dragged her to end of pier while she kept screaming. I asked her, "Do you want her?" She move head up and down. Mean "yes". So I forgive her and let Yuri out of the sheet. I told her to hug her sister and never fight again. Last only few days.

 Sayoko is so happy that Yuri did not get fed to the sharks.





Posted by redneckhiro at 12:36 AM

13 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2010 at 12:27 PM

    Hiro, Sound just like you...
    What if the kids did that to you now!!!
    you are too funny!!

    Love Ya Man
    Tex & Harmony Rose

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    Nice story

    -Tyler

    ReplyDelete
  3. DebiFebruary 13, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    Sounds like a lesson your son would do to Chantz and Kota..hmmmm...maybe a good idea! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. BrownieFebruary 13, 2010 at 6:37 PM

    Ummm... weren't we younger than that? We moved to NC when I was 3ish.

    And for the record... do we notice a pattern of abuse towards poor, defenseless Yuri?

    Also, these stories are funnier when you can hear the redneck English mixed with the broken English and the heavy Asian accent...

    ReplyDelete
  5. BrownieFebruary 13, 2010 at 6:37 PM

    And I want the originals of BOTH of those pics AND the one of me chasing Midori & Sayoko with the snakes!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Midori SmithermanFebruary 13, 2010 at 10:03 PM

    YURI. WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CORRECTING THE BLOGGER IN THE COMMENT SECTION??? FEEL SORRIER FOR SAYOKO'S GINORMOUS BABY BUTT DADDY DREW AND WOULDN'T LET ME BLEEP OUT WITH A BLACK BAND ACROSS HER BACKSIDE!!! In your best interest, allow a LOT of time to pass before we see each other in person again. And when we see each other in person again, stay out of swinging distance.

    ReplyDelete
  7. BrownieFebruary 17, 2010 at 9:04 AM

    Swinging distance? I'll do what I always do and hide behind Justin, he can take the hit... :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. SayokoFebruary 17, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    This is my second favorite story.

    ReplyDelete
  9. BrownieFebruary 17, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    2nd favorite? what's the first? the one of his babysitting you with a garden hose??? O_o

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownFebruary 19, 2010 at 8:10 AM

    Heh, I'll let Yuri take the hit... it's good for her.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Midori SmithermanFebruary 20, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    Thank you little brother. It will probably be good for ALL of us.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Carlo, Las VegasMarch 2, 2010 at 4:57 PM

    I did not know that Sako had a sweet side. It took Yuri's near death to bring it out. Of course, it only lasted a few days.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Midori SmithermanMarch 3, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    HEY!!! THAT'S MY SISTER YOU'RE INSULTING. ONLY I'M ALLOWED TO DO THAT!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)