Welcome to my blog, redneckhiro, the life and times of a Japanese redneck. This blog is a collection of FREE funny short stories written both in Japanese and English. Once or twice a week, I will post a new short story so I hope that you will come back to visit me regularly and check "funny" or 'interesting" or "cool" or leave comments. Coming soon are links to some more blogs I am starting like cooking and interesting stories growing up in post WWII Japan. Thank you for visiting and come back soon!

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A Japanese Redneck House

A Japanese Redneck House
Illustrated by Redneck Hiro

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Redneck Hiro's Home Entertainment Theater System

Redneck Hiro making good use of all available resources

Where we lived, far from the t.v. station. Only pick up three channels. For one of them, antenna had to be high and in right place. When I hold antenna up, picture clear. My oldest one, Midori-in third grade. She was tallest one of my kids. I told her, "Midori, hold antenna. Stand on the table. Pick up high. That's it! Ok. Hold on." Midori think only few minutes but only time I let her rest, in commercial. "Ok, you can rest." She asked me, "Daddy, how long do I have to hold this?" I answered her, "Sorry, little more. If I win, I pay you $5.00." Her eyes brighten up. Very seldom they get paid. She shut up and changed hand holding antenna. I said to daughter #2, "Ok Sayoko, change channel. I give you one dollar." Sayoko ask me, "Daddy, why Midori get five?" I said, "Midori's job hard. She get tired. You just change channel." When I come home after work, I take over tv. Both of them. Wife think too selfish but I told them, "When you own house, you do same. I won't take over channel." Saturday is cartoon day. Also college football day. I bet on so I like to watch. I teach my kids put socks on my feet. I have a good reason. I told my girls, "Do you know, I can put socks on myself. But you girls some day married. Do this for your husbands. Then I bet they never dump you. Not too many Amercian girls know how. You kids lucky. I teach you." My wife did for me but train kid at younger age, easier. They don't mind to that. They HATE I took all channels. They found out Saturday afternoon, stay home have to hold antennae and change channels. I lost antenna holder and channel changer. I move chair close to tv. stick antenna to bonsai pot. Juniper growing. No kids. I have to rearrange set up. I may be worthless dad and husband. I have reason. Whoever they find to marry, they should appreciate and have happy married life.


AHHH! Peace and Quiet and No Kids! 







9 comments:

  1. Now Daddy sits in front of the computer more than the tv. He gets so deep in concentration that he forgets where he is sometimes and he tries to use the remote control to change what's on the computer screen! I've been promoted too. I'm no longer antenna holder. I am the computer help desk (though I'm local-same house even). And NO! I have not changed his socks in many, many years!

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  2. I just remember the bunny rabbit ears, Dori had to hold up. I laughed at her until I had to start holding those antennas! I guess that was why were we always outside playing instead of being couch potatoes!

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  3. I remember having to change his socks. I hated it, they were tight and hard to get around his fat heel! Wasn't there also a time when one of you guys sat in a chair and the picture came in clearer so you had to sit still in that chair for hours? That had to be training for something!

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  4. There should be a check box for disgusting!

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  5. Hey! Remember how he'd fall asleep and we'd sneak in and change the channel and he's SPRING to life and yell, "HEY! I was WATCHING that!"

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  6. I tried to put a box in for disgusting but it won't show.

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  7. you know siblings, a good friend of mine sent me an email and told me that we must have had an AWESOME childhood! There was that too! Not just the embarrassing moments.

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  8. OMgoodness...is that where Hiroshi gets this? LOL No wonder he doesn't check to see what our bill is for cable..he'll pay any amount I guess to not have the rabbit ear antennas! To funny...except the sock thing..YUCK!

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