Welcome to my blog, redneckhiro, the life and times of a Japanese redneck. This blog is a collection of FREE funny short stories written both in Japanese and English. Once or twice a week, I will post a new short story so I hope that you will come back to visit me regularly and check "funny" or 'interesting" or "cool" or leave comments. Coming soon are links to some more blogs I am starting like cooking and interesting stories growing up in post WWII Japan. Thank you for visiting and come back soon!

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A Japanese Redneck House

A Japanese Redneck House
Illustrated by Redneck Hiro

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Redneck Hiro's Friend Walter and the Lunchtime Surprise

Walter enjoying the cheeseburger Redneck Hiro brought him.
Walter is my friend. We cut each other. He can't keep the money. Always broke. He ask me few dollars most every days. I don't let him have money because hard to pay me back. One day he ask me to get 2 cheeseburger. I bring back for him. But never pay me. Next day ask me same thing. I bring back. But this time I slip in a 40" snake in the cheeseburger box. One burger was wrapped in paper and other one was in a box. Walter ask me, "Hiro, why one in the box?" I told him, "I don't know. That all they had. Don't you want? I give to somebody else." "No, no. I am hungry. I eat them both." "By the way, you owe me $10.00. Pay me first." "Wait. I pay you" "Before eat, pay me." Walter cursed, "#$@& *%@# you! I pay!" "Ok. You don't want pay me, I take this." "No, I pay you" "Let me see you have money or not." "Hiro, I am hungry. Don't mess with me." Still not pay me. I knew if he find a snake in the box, forget about my $10.00. I let him eat. But me and Red Cap Brown watching from the windows outside break room. He start eating. We were watching with smile. About he finish halfway one burger, he open the box. Snake JUMP OUT toward him. He usually slow mover but he jump. Fall on the floor. Run to the door. This door need to pull to open but he keep pushing. Slipping feet. We die laughing. He run way from snake. He was mad. Knife in hand. While I pick up snake in my hand. He yelled, "You $&@ %%W! I cut you and snake same time!!!" But he was shaking. I told him, "Go ahead." He sat down shaking. "Ok Walter, go ahead. Eat. This is another one." "#^@!! NO! I am not hungry anymore!" "See Walter, you try to stiff me, you get back. Next time you pay me first."






3 comments:

  1. Ah this is the funniest story!

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  2. Good thing for Walter that you know your snakes!! Funny story, Daddy.

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  3. very funny and very cool!Cool story grandpa ;)

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